Memory Street

X' Mas gift

2011-12-14T23:56:00.000+03:00

He came into my life....

And made it a wonderful world to live in...

He made me feel so special with all that he does and all that he says....

I love you, Koeko

Thank you for all your love and everything you did for me..

Merry X'mas and Happy New Year to you now and till we are together forever....

Love Trip

2011-10-01T21:27:00.001+03:00

Love Trip Slideshow: Rabp!G’s trip from Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia to 5 cities Kuala Terengganu, Kuala Lipis, Kuala Rompin, Kuala Kangsar and Kuala Pilah was created by TripAdvisor. See another Malaysia slideshow. Create your own stunning slideshow with our free photo slideshow maker.

i have a dream

2011-06-14T10:07:00.000+03:00

I have a dream.. a big dream. I feel i'm alive again. Being a crew life, better not to expect anything.We talked about it with the crew on my last Paris flight. We were about to take off and suddenly, we heard the announcement from the Captain saying that we needed to go back to the gate to check the aircraft engine. We didn't know what will happen to us either to have flight cancel or going back deadheading or we could be operate the flight ..

You'll never know what will happen tomorrow. But, if you don't plan anything, you won't have any hope. If you don't have hope, you'll feel that life is meangingless.. You won't know where should you go next and what should you do. That's what i got to know after my depression days.

Now, i have a dream. I know what i want and what i'm doing. Actually, there are so many things that i need to do in my life. When i forget about these, i'm lost. I love my family. I need a life. And i'm gonna make that happen. Whenever i think about marriage, i get to know that i'm not ready 100% to be a mother. I"m so sure i could be a good wife. Sometimes, i feel like i want to go back to my childhood with the situation right now. For sure, not like the way i had. i don't wanna go back to my childhood life with the situation i had before. But, i want to create another perfect family life by myself with the family God has given .You won't understand what i'm saying.. You won't know what i mean exactly. But, i wish you know.. ha ha.

I still want to act like a baby sometimes. Since i graduated, I was leading my life and my family as a big daughter and sister. I always feel like i'm the oldest one in the world. The mature one ever. Ha ha..

Finally, I'm not. I could be. But, i don't want to choose that way for now. So??? I will make sure i have a wonderful family life that God has been given me before i choose my own family life. It means, i will go back to my family after resigning, i will enjoy every single days with them. I will show them my respect, appreciation and my love. I want to stay with my parents and my lovely brother and sisters before i get married. That's my plan. For how long i don't know. It could be few months until few years. Don't know exactly. But, i will keep going day by day with Faith and another dream which is my own family life with my husband.

I want a car now. And i want a video camera, a touch screen mobile, a professional canon Camera and my romantic own room where i will stay with my family. I will make sure i have it this year.

Lord, My God , please help me to fulfil all my dreams that i plan for. I trust you lord. As long as you are with me, I'm fine. I love you. Please don't leave me alone. Please bless me, my family and my koeko now and forever. Lead me where to go, what to do. Guide me in your way. And let me be in your presence till we meet in the heaven. Forgive all my sins and have mercy on me. In the Jesus Name I pray. Amen.........

3 days off again

2011-06-11T12:16:00.000+03:00

Well, unexpectedly i got a very relaxing days off in doha. I was thinking to visit my family in the beginning. For many reasons, i decided to stay in doha only.First day was terrible for me. I was so confused whether should i go back or not. I got the exit permit, ticket and everything. I was ready to go home. But, i called my mom and after hearing that my father was not back to yangon, i was so upset.I decided not to go back home anymore. Then, i took the pill and i slept till the next day afternoon.. Ha ha..

After i woke up, suddenly, i miss my batchmate that i haven't met her so long in qatar within 3 years. I called her and i got to know that she was in the process of resigning. I realized that God wanted me to do something in doha instead of going home for 2 days to see my family with a very rush way. I met Qing for lunch and i visited her for a while to chat. She is a cute and very straight forward girl. She did plan so- well before she resigns. She has been to so many countries, mostly every destinations where qatar airways flies to and she bought a lot of things before she resings. Good girl!

I met Mai and ma Shaung and ma Bu as well the next day. We had a lovely dinner with ma Ei too. It was a sociable days off for me. I was relax after my days off. And .... finally.... back to work again........as usual.

Anyway, thank you Lord for my 3 days off. It was God's plan for me to stay in doha and to let me learn something from my friends and make friendships during my days off. At least , i feel that i have a life. A living life.... God is good all the time. He is already planned everything for us in our past, now and forever. We just need to follow Him in our every day lives.If there is a time for us, it will come to us anyway and anyhow. If not for you, even you try so hard, u will not gonna get it anyway. But remember, only if you summit your lives into His Hands...

All i wanna say is there is always God's plans for us. You just need to summit your every day lives to Him. Praise Him for your everyday life and follow what He wants you to do step by step, day by day. No worries for tomorrow. It's much easier way and you will be blessed at the same time.

May God be with you and bless you All !!

Jan 1st to 6th, flying

2011-06-08T17:25:00.000+03:00

Flying again after 4 days off.. I got Jarkata, Indonesia flight on Jan 1st to 3rd.. It was the painful moment ever. My emotional feelings were not ready to operate the flight after meeting koeko. I didn't want to fly anymore. I wanted to see koeko every morning and night and i wanted to change my life style with him. I was thinking to resign badly. I was crazy on my CGK layover. I brought my laptop to see koeko online. I couldn't smile at all during the flight. My senior was amazing. He was one of the best CSD ever. I did my job very well, but my mind was painful inside. I called my family and koeko with hotel landline phone and i paid for 50 US dollar almost. I was thinking to visit my family on my coming 3 days off to discuss with them about resigning.

I felt so sorry for my family. Definitely, they would be shocked of hearing about my resigning. I couldn't help myself to stop thinking about that. I was not in the mood to fly at all. I want a family life. I need love and caring. I felt like I became childish that need to be cared. Woo............

After Jarkata flight, I operated Bangkok flight. I met with ma lay lay. I spent a lot of money with her. I did facial cleaning at Hanako Tokyo, Siam Square and I cut my hair. I paid for 1300 Bhat for that. I bought ARTY foundation make up and lipstick and I paid around 1500 Bhat. I bought some hair treatment and other necessary things for me and i did massage which is near by the hotel we stayed. I paid for 700 bhat for massage too. All in all, i spent more than 100 dollars. Anyway, i had a good time. I was happy that i spent money for myself.. I need that .. I need that.. And i will spend more... Ha ha ha

After BKK, flying to Kuwait. Just a very short and easy flight.

lovely 4 days off in KL

2011-06-08T15:24:00.000+03:00

Finally, i met my love in KL. We had a lovely time. I was so excited to seeing him. I got relief when i reached the Kualalumpur International Airport. Surprisingly, more than 100 people were waiting to pass the Immigration. First time in my life to see that amount of people. I've been to so many countries for 4 years. So far, i haven't seen more than 100 people were waiting for the Immigration. Unbelievable!!! I was standing there one hr and a half. Can u imagine?

Anyway, all of my stress were gone when i met Koeko in KL Sentral. The first day, we stayed in the Nova Hotel and we paid for 177 ringits. I was not happy with the room at all. Next day, we moved to the Hotel Fortuna. We paid for 180 ringit and i was very much happy with that room. It was cool. I really had a good time with hotel Fortuna. we stayed there for 2 days. We didn't do anything special. We went out for dinner, movie and shopping. We talked and talked in the room. We really had a great time. I opened my mind to koeko until i got relief. He really cared me a lot. I love him so much. For sure, i will never find a guy like him anymore in my life. He is such a wonderful lover for me ever. Love you koeko.

dinner with koeko

what a lovely moment of us!!!!!!!!!

love you koeko..hope to see you again soon!!!!......

                            one of the happiest times in my life.. thank you koeko!

I need to relax

2011-05-24T22:04:00.000+03:00

So tired of flying and to be alone. I don't know what i need and what i want anymore. Where is my family? Where is my love? Where is my friends? Nothing.. Nothing at all!

Always, i follow my roster. Flying to and there. Follow the procedures. Seeing different aircrafts and people. Sometimes, upset and sometimes, ok. Sometimes, stress and sometimes, relax. Sigh.. Tired of it already. But, what should i do next if i resign? Should i get the better job? I don't think so. This job is the best ever. But, the life is suck. May be only me.. I don't know. May be i don't know how to make fun, how to enjoy and how to work.. Don't know.. But, everyday i try my best. That's what i know. I'm trying to good to people and i do what i suppose to do. I follow the procedures. But, tired. I don't have life. I don't have relax.

Just came back from Frankfurt this morning. Going to the office to get the exit permit. Tired and tired. Don't know what to do when i reach home. I was lost. Preparing for the next flight again. One flight is over and another flight is coming. Stress again for the next flight. Slept for a while. Woke up to see ma cynthia and to send money home. All i'm working is for my Family.. I feel like that. I bought some clothes and foods for me for my daily use. All i save and sending is for my family. I'm saving money to buy a car for my family coz they want it and they need it. I don't know my future. Where should i live. What should i do. Don't know. Always in my mind , i'm thinking to call my family members to visit me in doha or to send them somewhere else that i have been. I've been to so many countries. So, i want them to feel that and at least some few countries i want them to visit.

Some stupidity minded is always in my head. I apologize God again and again and I did that again and again. I couldn't make up my mind to overcome it. That's what i hate and that's what i want. Crazy. You know why? because i'm alone and i'm lonely. I got to know that when i was with my friends and family, i forgot that. I was happy and always have something to do. When i'm alone, i started thinking about so many things. I don't know what to do alone in my lonely room. I don't know who to talk? What to do.

Just wake up! having a tooth pain. So painful that i can't sleep at all. My tounge is burning with blister. Painful again. It's really painful and not convineient at all when i talk or eat something. I feel like my hairs need to be washed. But, it will take time when i wash and i dont' have time. I'm afraid i will get cold when i wash it as well. Mensaration is not coming yet. Don't know when it will come. I can't wash my hairs when it's coming and i will be so tired and pale again when it comes. Stress for that too. Tomorrow i have Algeries flight. It's layover. So, it should be OK. Hopefully will fly with nice crew and passengers.

My face is so ugly. So many pimples coming up. God, my Lord. Pls help me. I'm lost. I know that i'm not lost , but i'm other way lost. I can't wait to reach my 4 days off to meet with koeko and to relax. But again same roster, flying life and normal routine duties will follow after that again. It will come, but it will finish soon and my tiring life will come again. SIGH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Feel like wanna cry. But, don't know what to do. Anyone can help me to happy ? Even for a while is OK. Lord, You 're my God. I know that u won't leave me. Even i'm so sinful, i still love u and i'm yours. Please do whatever u want me to do . I"m ready to deny myself and my will and to follow you. Just remove all my human thinking minded and put all your plans and will inside me. Change my heart O Lord. Let me bless for you. And let me live only for you. I want to have meangingful life. But i don't know whether i'm meangingful or not.. Please forgive all my sins and lead me to your way Please. In Jesus Name I pray.. AMEN

Barcelona

2011-05-15T18:08:00.001+03:00

Wow.. I got a very nice layover to Barcelona on May 7th, Sat. I just bid for it because it's one the the new destination that I haven't been yet. But, I didn't think that it gonna be a very nice layover with tourist attraction. By the grace of God, the thai CSD, Sittiwat was very nice. I've flown with him long time back when I was f1 flying as a f2 and he was CS at that time. He got promoted so fast as he got flying experience in his previous airline in Bangkok. He is quite young.

Unexpectedly, there was a 35 years old F1 galley operator crew from the Pakistan crew who got 2 children. I never thought that there will be that kind of mother working as a crew in the Qatar Airways like that. Compare with her, I'm still young. I have a lot of chances to do and I have a lot of opportunities in my life as i started my carrier early in such airline industry. Thank you Lord for letting me see myself that way.

Anyway, i reached the Barcelona around 9am . The weather was cold and it was cloudy. But, i didn't change my mind to go out. We had a longer stay for 30 hrs in Barcelona. And it's my first time there. So, I should go out for sure right?

Crew did appointment around 12 am local time to meet in the lobby. I prayed to God and I promised God not to commit the sinful thing that He hates to see me. And i need more blessings for my life and God's favour. So, I decided to promise God not to do the sinful thing again before that Barcelona flight and I asked Him to show me the Miracle blessings on that flight. Surprisingly, God did that. He blessed me and He showed me the miracle things and everything was so so so smooth. I was so happy for that.

I took the Barcelona City tour from the hotel with other 3 crew. We paid for 21 euro each. We had lunch across the Hotel with 5 f2 and 1 CS. I had a great time. After Lunch, me, CS and two other f2, we followed the Barcelona City tour for the sight seeing.....................

We visited the Sagrada Familia Church and the Park Guell. The bus took us the whole city and we reached the main city around 7pm. One japanese crew wanted to walk around in the city street for shopping and dinner. I was so cold. I got nose running and a cold because of the weather. It was raining a little bit. Even i had my jacket, i was freezing. So, i decided to come back to the hotel with the other two crew. At the same time, Koeko was waiting for me online. So, my mind was driving me to the hotel to talk with koeko only. And all my 50 euro was gone..I even didn't have euro for my dinner.

I reached the hotel around 8pm and I was talking with koeko online. I got a cold that night. So, I took barmeton and i slept for 12 hrs until my wake up call in the afternoon. I was so happy walking around the Street , clicking pictures, having lunch with the crew. I didn't have that kind of layover for so long. Most of the time, i just stay in my room, sleeping and watching movie and having some noodle or bread that i brought. Thank you Lord for my lovely Barcelona flight. The crew were nice and the flight was peaceful. Above all, the layover was amazing!!

It's the Sagrada Familia church which is very famous in the Barcelona, Spain! They're still building it and we paid for 14.50 euro to go inside the church.

See? how's amazing inside the church?

this is inside the Park Guell

So tired la!!!

2011-05-15T15:04:00.000+03:00

I just came back from Frankfurt yesterday morning and I had Islamabab, Pakistan flight at the same night. Just minimum rest. I had noodle soup and managed to sleep. I woke up around 6pm and prepared for the flight. Life as a cabin crew is quite tiring. Flying and resting , flying and resting. Nothing much.

When i reached the briefing, the CSD gave me R1 position. I was so sad when i heard that because i know that R1 gonna be so tired with cockpit, galley and the cabin again. Anyway, i didn't have choice. I talked to myself that " moohaypaw, you need to be strong, you have to strong.... come and rock again this flight with R1 position". I just motivated myself, singing a song in my heart and working.

Actually, i didn't like the CSD that much in the beginning. She is Thai . Her name is Upa. She flew before with Japanese airline. She was tough, the way she talked in the briefing room. When we were on board, surprisingly, she was nice. She didn't bother us that much and she was working as well. Whenever i passed her the check, she kept saying "thank you". How lovely?

Another f1, berverly from Philippines was also nice. She was always asking me "what can i help you?" what can i do " . She helped me a lot. I really thank God that i had that kind of lovely crew on that flight. The captain and the first officer were ok. Not bad.. I had a smooth flight with nice crew even i was so tired.

My legs were so painful. I even couldn't walk. I didn't notice that much on board. I was standing for 7hrs. I just realize that when i reach home. As soon as i reach my room, i just sit on the floor with the uniform. I coudn't stand at all. And i wanna remove my uniforms, make up, everything at the same time . I couldn't wait to relax. I hate all these things that i put on . It makes me so heavy and stress.

I talked with day poe for 15 mins. I was relax. At least i had somebody to have fun with. Koeko was calling me and I felt better. I need to talk. I need to share my feelings. I've been flying with all these people that i don't know without talking about personal. I need some outlet.

Last but not least, Maldives flight again tonight. I just slept for 4 hrs for now. Need to sleep more.. Wish me all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sick in Frankfurt

2011-05-14T09:17:00.001+03:00

We landed to Frankfurt on time and I was ok during the flight. I was working in First Class cabin and there were just 2 customers in the front. The Morocan CSD, Najoua and R1, Sara were fine with me. We had a very nice and peaceful flight. I even didn't go and help Business Class because the CSD asked me to stay in First Class only.

One funny thing was the Arabic First Class customer finished almost one and a half bottle of White Wine, Savougion Blanc and he lost control during the flight. He wanted to go to the toilet so badly and he came to the galley with his belt opened. The toilet was occupied and he couldn't wait at all. You know what he did? He went back to his seat and pee inside the small bottle. I saw him standing in front of the seat and the way he was standing was so strange for me. So, I asked the another crew to check it for me and as i thought so, he just pee there in the cabin. Imagine? First Class customer pee in the First Class Cabin? First time in my life seeing that scene.

Anyway, long story short, I arrived Frankfurt safely again and as usual, i prepared myself to meet with hsu mon. I message her and i went to the airport. I was always late for any appointment in my life. But this time, i was early and waited her in the hotel bus stop for more than half an hour. I got a cold. My nose started running. Finally, i was sick. I had fever when i reached her parent's house. We were planning to stay at her flat. So, she took her stuffs from her parents' house and we moved to her place.

By the time i reached her place it was around 10pm. I checked my mail, listened to koeko's voicemail and we went to sleep around 1am. I was so sick. I had a fever even i took the medicine. My nose was totally blocked. I finished almost two packs of tissues for my nose. We woke up around 9am and we went to the main station to have the breakfast. We had some burger and french fries and i came back to the Airport. I was planning to buy some snacks in the supermarket. But, i couldn't find that when i reached the airport. I was working and searching around the airport. Finally I decided to go back to the hotel. I reached hotel around 11am and i took barmeton and para to sleep. I just slept and woke up until my wake up call.

On the way back to the doha, i had to work in the economy as R2. Passenger load was just 93. I was sick and I didn't feel like working at all. I couldn't move myself that much and i didn't want to eat as well. I still had fever until i reach my accomodation. Sigh.. one more flight to go tonight to Islamabab, Paskistan. My pick up gonna be at 7:15pm and now it's 9:15am already. I'm not feeling well at all. I feel like i wanna rest for 2days.. Anyway, i better operate the flight than report sick.

Wish me all the best for my tonight flight!!!!!!

9 to 11 May, my three days off

2011-05-12T02:25:00.000+03:00

I was so busy during my three days off. I thought i would be so boring. Unfortunately, I had a wonderful days off. On May 9th, I went out with ma cynthia to apply for Malaysia visa. We were in the office until 3pm. I changed my CMC card, and i changed my hat, scranche, and my cabin shoe also. Me and ma say lay, we did shopping in the Lu Lu hyper market until 10pm . I spent around 500 riyals. I bought some accessories things for my house like plates, bowl, spoons, table cloth, and some night dress for myself. I was happy for that.

On 10th May, i just slept with ma cynthia together and we cooked together too. We were so tired . I talked with koeko online around 8pm and i read some books and i slept around 2am in the morning. Around 8am on 11st May, I woke up and i prepared myself to go to the office. Me and Mai , we went to the QR medical center to change our Medical certificate. They did eye test, ear test, blood test, urine test, ECG, everything. We need to go and collect it the next day afternoon to get the new card.

Mai follwed me to the AL Saad and we had lunch together. We took a nap for 1hr and we went out to change some money. I bought some present for koeko too. At 7pm, I met with koeko online and he is sleeping until now. Since he slept, i didn't sleep yet until now. I just wanna finish posting my blog before my flight. I know that i gonna be so busy after flying continuously. Koeko wants me to write and post in my blog everyday. He teach me how to do it and he wants me to apply that. So, by showing him my love and respect of appreciation, I'm taking my time and trying my best to post every update things that i did recently.

You know why?.... because i love koeko and i want to do all the things he wants me to do..............!!!

Colombo on May 5th, 2011

2011-05-12T00:52:00.000+03:00

I was praying to God to have a nice flight on my Colombo flight because I will be R1 position, checking cockpit crew, cabin and the galley operator as well. I was so worried before that flight. I prepared myself the best for that. When I reached the briefing room, I saw the Morocan CS. I was thinking that she would be so lazy and would have attitude problem like most of them are having.

Anyway, the flight preparation was so smooth on ground since we had nice Captain and First Officer. Thanks God for that. After take off, the CS was so busy searching her DVD player key. Finally, she forgot that key and she was so nervous because of that. She was nice to me though. I had a nice flight going to the Colombo, Srilanka. She was working hard too, not that lazy that I imagine.

We reached the Airport Hotel early morning around 4am. Hotel was nice and scaring for me. I couldn't sleep well in the beginning. Later on, I was trying to sleep with the light off and I slept for 12 hrs. Ha ha. I woke up just 30mins before my wake up call. I didn't eat anything at all. But, the stupid minded was there again..................!!!!!!

I message koeko and koeko called me before my flight. I just had noodle cup and tea after my make up. The flight was smooth on the way back to doha as well. I really thank God after we landed to doha. Sigh........ one flight was over smoothly by the Grace of God. Thank you Lord for the lovely Colombo flight with lovely CS and Cockpit Crew and passengers!!!!!

the very romantic room!!!!

the Srilanka view from my room.....

Sunday in Frankfurt

2011-05-03T20:43:00.001+03:00

I arrived the Steigenberger Airport Hotel around 8am , I took a shower and prepared myself to go to the airport. Aunty Marri was waiting for me in the Hotel bus stop and we met each other around 9am. Ma Wutyi, Chinese girl from Myanmar was there with aunty also. We had breakfast, the noodle in the Hauptbahnhof Main station and we went to the street market which open only once a month in the first week on sunday.

I bought two pillows for 5 euro and one curtain which is about 2 and a half meter long. I paid 13 euro for that. Suddenly, I felt like i was in Doha at that time. I saw mostly the Arabic people. They said the price is cheaper than other place. I was wondering they had that kind of place and people in Germany. Anyway, it was a new experience for me and i was happy there. Thanks God for letting me see that kind of place and people.

I was so busy choosing the curtains...........

See? my hands were so busy with 2 pillows and curtains.. After shopping in the market, me and aunty marri, we moved to the Church. They started at 12:30pm. We were just on time. Aunty marri's husband joined us there also. I met some people from Burma which is chinese, kachin and karen. The pastor is chinese.

We practised for the choir for the home cell also. It was so funny that some people singing in chinese and some people singing in english..I've never seen people singing the gospel song in the chinese language.

After the church, i followed to the home cell program. There were chinese sisters, they gathered and bought a house together. They invited the church members to come and worship at their new house. We had a good time there. It was a lovely fellowship with christian families. We ate Shan noodle there. It was amazing.. I like it so much. We had an interesting discussion about Bible with that chinese pastor after the program too.

Thanks God for this lovely Layover!!!!!!

The pastor, Samuel was preaching in Chinese and the girl beside him was translating in burmese!

Even I had a good time there, i miss my lovely and sweety koeko so much . I love you koeko. My life gonna be perfect with you only. Without you, even i'm happy, i still need something..

Ma Bo's birthday party

2011-04-29T18:37:00.000+03:00

Wow... Chicken barbecue,fried fish,fried beef with ghost salad and fried noodle. I enjoyed it so much. I was the only one eating a lot. heeeeeeeeeeee...I didn't have chance to eat like that for so long. I was so happy when I saw those stuffs in front of me. I met with ma mee, a new friend. She is working in Continental Hotel in Laundry department. She came with her husband. I had a good time with them. Especially the food..

After the party, I was busy uploading pictures in my facebook. I created one more album, Happy Christian Family. And I uploaded more pictures in the album, My Life too.

Today is Koeko's graduation day. I hope everything is fine with him. Umm.. tomorrow , back to work. Have to go Germany to meet with Hsu Mon and her family again. Koeko needs to go for a camp tomorrow too.

Gonna miss him so much................................

See? how delicious? I miss these food now.. eeeeeeeeeeee

Madrid, Spain

2011-04-26T22:21:00.002+03:00

I carried my laptop all the way to Spain for 7hrs and 20 mins flight with a very simple hope to see him online. Suddenly when i was on borad, chatting with the crew and found out that we got free internet in the hotel room. You will never know how i was so happy. Because, all my life streams are just to be the serious relationship with him.

I love talking, chatting, seeing him all the time. I could do that without sleeping or eating. For me, sleeping and eating are not that much important than seeing him. I love him that much.

I've been operating several flights through my 3 years flying experience with Qatar, without sleeping or eating at all, for sometime. I did very long haul flights without resting because of him. Sometimes, i was so headache like now, i couldn't even sit or open my eyes, but i was still chatting and talking with him in front of the computer. You will be surprised how Hero I am. But wanna know what's the result? Pain.. All the pain inside..

I didn't choose the way to sleep when i reach hotel even i was so tired like crazy. The first thing i did when i reach room was opening my laptop and leaving him the message that i was online. Then, i started removing my make up and showering. Even i was in the toilet, my mobile was beside me messaging him to come online.

I was so happy when i saw the mozeswin account was online. I was so excited and ready to chat. He asked me to wait for 15 mins and i was waiting without any complain. We had a lovely conversation for sometime. After that, one of our fris was online in vzo and it became disaster.

I felt bad again and started feeling tiring of it because it happened the same thing yesterday night.I wished that he could learn something from that. But finally, not. All my feelings lead me to the loneliness stage even he was online. I couldn't stand at all and i decided to sleep because he didn't care that much about me at that time and he enjoyed talking with him without me. He forgot that i came back from 7hr20mins flight without sleeping. He forgot that i was waiting for him online just to see him and i carried my laptop only for him. He forgot how much i was tired.

And now, i wake up after few hrs sleeping, and all my minds and hearts drive me to go online because of him. I expect something from him. But,last but not least, he didn't leave any single message to me. Showing that he doesn't care me at all. You will know how i will feel.

Lord, please teach me how to live without him.Lord, please give me the energy to stand without seeing him. I know myself that i love him so much than anything.I already surrender and loose everything for loving him. All my thoughts are just with him every seconds that my heart beats. i was thinking about him and dying to see him always. I know that he loves me too. But i still get all the pain and sadness from him time to time.

Praying that my tears will let me free of being loneliness..........................................................

This is the hotel we stayed in the Madrid. We got free internet too.. Nice, huh?

Can u read it? Haha.. I don't think so.. it's spanish words that i saw in the hotel room.. Just for memory!!!!

Can you read something from this drawing? Something meangingful to you? It's just interesting!!

I was half happy and half sad for this chatting......

2011-04-25T17:18:00.000+03:00

I have a dream

2011-04-25T15:51:00.000+03:00

i bless the day i met you

i miss the day u were with me

every seconds i hear my heart beats,

reminding me that i love you

After Easter

2011-04-25T14:56:00.000+03:00

Yesterday was the Easter Sunday and i didn't do anything special at all. Every days off, i have the same story, sleeping, online, eating and chatting. I started my day with something stupid and i ended with that. How poor i am? You will never know what i did , but u won't be surprised because you will be one of it.

Today, i did the same thing when i woke up. Sigh...... I pray to God that He will forgive me. And i know that He already did. I love you Lord, my God. You're the only reason i still alive. I should love you more than anything. I wish i could feel that you are beside me everyday , anytime.

God, i love you. That's all i wanna say now. And please forgive me. Please cover me with all your love and mercy that i will feel safe to live in this world. Please help me not to go to temptation..